John Silkstone-Raconteur

It takes a special kind of soldier to not just remember his days in the Army, but to remember them with any degree of accuracy. A former colleague of mine-and of many many others over the years has done just that. His name is John Silkstone. How do I know this to be true? John is the published author of a book entitled, "You Two! Fall In-In Three Ranks." The book is a collection of memories and anecdotes that is full of humour and just begs to be read, not just by ex-soldiers who will know exactly where John is coming from with the book, but by anyone who has never seen the inside of an army barrack room, let alone inside the mind of some of our "leaders." John is not only a clever wordsmith when writing in the style of this book, but is also a writer of poetry in a style that leaves nothing to the imagination. His style is both descriptive and emotive.

The following is a short quotation from his book:
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I was posted from the depot to 20 Company RAMC, known as Military Hospital Tidworth. After a few months, I was working on Officers’ Ward when I was given the duties of supervising a young nurse fresh from the QARANC Depot; her name was Jan Lord. We eventually got married, but more about that later.

ANOTHER SEVEN DAYS RPs

For some misdemeanour that I can’t remember, I was once again placed on seven days restricted privileges. One evening I was painting the white lines around the hospital parking spaces when the Catering Officer approached and told me to follow him. He took me to the rear of the kitchen and pointed to a spot on the ground. My eyes followed his pointing finger as he said, “I want my own parking space painted in that spot, and I want my abbreviations within the said space, so no one else will park in it, okay?”

I answered in the affirmative and proceeded to paint as instructed. The following morning I was once more dusting the CO's mat.

“Left, right, left, right, mark time, halt. Left turn.” called out Reg Carnell the RSM.

“Are you 23494015 private Silkstone?” asked the Commanding Officer

“Yes sir.”

“You are hereby charged under section 69 of the Army Act 1955, in that you did on such and such a date paint a car parking space for the Catering Officer and placed inside the said space in three foot high letters, the Catering Officer’s abbreviations. How do you plead?”

“Guilty Sir.”

I was then informed that the abbreviation for Catering Officer was ‘Cat Off’ and not ‘F Off’, for Food Officer. I received a further seven days.

After I was marched out of the office, the RSM informed me that I was to report to him for my extra duties. The duties I performed where of a light nature, for the RSM saw the funny side of the incident.

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The book, "You Two! fall In-In Three Ranks" can be purchased from www.stores.lulu.com/johnsilkstone  or from http://www.amazon.co.uk/