Monday 9 July 2012

I Wasn't The Only One........

If you dig deep enough in the pages of this Blog, you'll find tales of my early days in nursing and how, from time to time, things didn't go quite according to plan. Although it is rather cruel of me to say so, I'm glad it didn't just happen to me!!

During my early days in Tidworth, I had the pleasure of working in the same unit as John Silkstone. John was a transferee from the Royal Artillery, who became a very popular Medic. John has kindly submitted a piece for publication, which is shown below. (If the name rings a bell, yes, he has contributed before, for which I thank him.)

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In May 1964 I was posted to the UN in Cyprus for 6 months, eventually returning to Tidworth in December 1964, were I then went on two weeks leave.

R and E DEPARTMENT

My leave over, I returned to BHM Tidworth. My new job was working in the Casualty department, and one of the first people I met there was Jan Lord who had been posted back to Tidworth from BMH Dhekelia Cyprus and so we started going out together.

WHAT ENTERTAINMENT!

Tidworth was only a small village and there was very little to do there. Most people went to the army cinema, which was run by the Army Kinema Corps. Douglas McLeod, one of the medics from the hospital, worked at the cinema and would always save Jan and me our seats on the back row.
With nowhere else to go, Jan knew she could always find me in the games room playing snooker with Sammy Shaw, Ken Brock, Pete Deck and sometimes Taffy Leek, just to name a few.
In the hospital library on a Tuesday night from 19.00 – 21.00 hrs, Colonel Harston the Gynaecologist would hold a jazz club night. One night he informed us that he had been told by the Commanding Officer that he had to stop the junior ranks from calling him Tony. His next statement was to say, that from this night onwards we had to call him Anthony.

NEVER MIND THE QUALITY, FEEL THE MIRTH.

One night I was on duty when an unconscious Ghurkha was brought into casualty. A Colonel whom I shall not name was also on duty. After giving the patient a thorough examination, he declared that the patient was suffering from urine retention. “As the patient is unconscious and won’t feel any pain,” he said, “I intend to exert pressure on his bladder and remove the blockage.”
I went off to collect a urine bottle; upon my return I placed the man's penis into the bottle. I expected the doctor to exert a firm but gentle pressure on the man’s abdomen; it’s not often I’m right, and I was wrong again. The doctor placed both hands on the patient’s abdomen and applied his full weight. The sudden movement caused the man's penis to pop out of the bottle, and the external pressure on the abdomen caused a small stone to be dislodged. The bladder, now being freed from its blockage, sent a stream of urine about five feet into the air. Seeing this eruption of urine, I jumped back away from the table. The Colonel, being of sounder stock, stood his ground.
The urine, not having the necessary velocity to escape Earth’s gravitational pull, now started its downward motion in the direction of the doctor. The cascading urine landed on his right shoulder and ran down his white coat. As a smirk spread across my face the Colonel said, “I suppose you think this is funny?”
Still gazing at the urine running down his coat, I saw that his right hand pocket, which held his stethoscope, was now filling up. This vision was too much for me and I erupted into laughter.
I laugh so much that I went into a hysterical laughing fit, and the anaesthetist had to be call out to put me to sleep. I awoke on recovery ward to find that my ribs felt as though they had been marched over by a regiment of soldiers. On top of all that, I was charged for insubordination, which got me another seven days restricted privileges.


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Thanks John.


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